UPDATE: just wanted to make sure that everyone knows this intended to be funny.  These are actually BAD tips. I only mention this because a couple of the comments seemed to indicate that people didn’t know that. On the other hand, maybe they just beat me at my own game and made serious sounding comments that were actually jokes so the joke is on me. Hmm.

It’s that time of year again when many of us are dusting off that old wireless mouse w/ built-in PowerPoint clicker and gearing up for some public speaking. For those of you giving talks, I thought I’d share some of my top tips for a successful presentation. Let’s get those speaking scores up, folks!

1. Remember that you’re the expert

For starters, it can be intimidating to stand in front of a room full of people waiting to hear what you have to say. One thing that helps me is to remember who’s the boss in that room. It’s me (unless you’re the one speaking, then it’s you). Intimidate me? I’ll intimidate you. That’s what I say. Don’t be afraid to use words that you know people won’t understand or to say things in a way that makes you sound smarter than they are.

2. Dress up

They don’t call it a power tie for nothing, and it goes perfectly with PowerPoint. Want to sound smart? Start by looking smart. Want to be in good form? Why not some formalwear? It’s much better to be overdressed than underdressed. And men, don’t be afraid of a little aftershave!

3. Structure = bullets

Look, if bullets didn’t work, people would have stopped using them a long time ago. A combination of words and bullets is much more effective than words alone. Think of your talk as a highly structured conversation. Without bullets, where’s the structure?

4. Memorize, memorize, memorize

Can I paint a picture for you? Imagine a great talk that you’ve seen recently. Got it? Now re-imagine that talk except the speaker is reading the talk from a stack of papers. Not as good, right? It’s that simple: GREAT PRESENTERS DON’T READ, THEY MEMORIZE!

5. Talk faster, use jargon

One metric that I find useful is to estimate the cost per minute of my talk. Let’s say 400 people, each paid $1000 to be there. That’s over $6000/minute to hear me talk! Don’t waste that time. Two easy ways to maximize your minutes: talk faster and use “insider” words as shortcuts for complex concepts.

6. Use similes instead of metaphors

It’s a subtle difference, but a simile includes words like “like” or “as” where metaphors skip those helper words altogether. Without those words, the meaning of what you’re trying to say can get lost. Here’s an example: “XAML is like HTML” versus “XAML is HTML.” Which one makes more sense? I’ll let you decide.

7. “I feel a song coming on…”

I won’t lie, it’s not easy to sing in front of strangers but I’ve found that if you have a song in your heart, the audience will appreciate your candor and honesty when you actually sing it out loud. Don’t be afraid to get emotional. That’s the kind of connection that separates the good sessions from the great.

Alright, let’s keep it to seven for now—an easy number for memorization (see #4).  Best of luck to presenters and here’s to a great conference season!